I Kill Demons, You can too…

I am a great believer in quality and value in life and in everything I do.  I’ve never been one for the latest trend, unless I find it first, I’m not a follower of fashion, I do like style and a good cut.  I recycle, up-cycle, I love preloved and I re-love and I swap-shop with friends.   I don’t obsess over stuff, less is more and allows you freedom mostly.  I obsess over ideas, destinations, music, cooking, experiences and conversations as well as learning.  I am self critical a bit of a control freak, very loyal and supportive, sometimes to my detriment.  I am honest, too direct, up for a laugh, a singer, a dancer, in line for most adventures, I strive to be open minded and to say Yes more than No.

I love a night in with friends, great stories, home cooked food a cheeky Mojito a French Martini or maybe two.  Time spent in conversation, a bit of banter and lively, sometimes heated discussions, sharing ideas and views and encouraging each other that’s what makes me happy.  I love poetry and ski-fi as much as dark comedy and documentaries, putting my music on shuffle and singing away over a tea or chablis. I love to travel ; Zimbabwe, Cuba, Bolivia, Chile to name a few with more in the pipeline hopefully coming soon.  I am fond of a day trip to a city, the countryside or the sea, night drives through London are a treat, staring up at the beauty of Tower Bridge as I’m driving underneath . I like a quiet glass of wine in the dark staring up at the stars, thinking my thoughts or playing my guitar.

I don’t fit a genre a type or a fashion, I continuously change, learning and experiencing new things along the way, meeting new people and growing in knowledge as well as using new parts of my brain . You know those tests from Kiersey, Belbin to Myers-Briggs? I’ve done quite a few always with differing results. I have been a plant a chairman a completer finisher a blue skies thinker a team player, an introvert, an extrovert, a right sider, a left sider. I’ve always found these surveys, interesting but take them with a pinch of salt as after all they are only indicators.

I do a lot of different things, many strings to my bow, I don’t stand still or limit myself, I often ignore the constraints as they can be my own “inner fears” and anyway I’ve always been a little out there.  I constantly push myself to try new things, I am a wonderer and a wanderer, a traveller on a quest to be the best I can be with the time that I have in this life.

My mindset is most probably heavily influenced from moving around quite a bit in my childhood and teens navigating between the different cultures and belief systems with relative ease.  Also being the youngest and a girl made me competitive and quite assertive with the boys, who I always saw as my equals.  When told by great aunts from a different age that I should find a nice man with money in life, I replied that I could make my own money thank you very much. I have never been impressed by money or superficial wrapping I am impressed by integrity, loyalty, kindness and what lies beneath.  I try never to put anyone in a box, or be judgemental I believe that everyone has the potential to learn, change and grow regardless of age, background, nature, nurture or belief system. I always try to walk in another’s shoes to understand a stance or situation as I know nothing is as it seems.
I question everything, listen, read and think a lot. I wonder about the strangest things like “who discovered pepper and balsamic on strawberries is the best with vanilla ice-cream or is that just me”, Who decided that you could add milk to eggs and pop them under a grill and it would puff up?. Why do people smile on sunny days? Why to we sigh? Why is a yawn contagious and why do people have the capacity to be so kind and cruel in equal measure?.

The key to happiness for me is to have an enquiring mind, to ask questions to learn from mistakes, to give, and to be open to change. I’m not saying that I will always make the change, or that I will even see that one is required?

Timing is key but I will often see the opportunity, step back from it walk around it, weigh it up, see the constraints, the risks and ask myself questions “is it for me”. I like a good inner conversation it usually goes like What’s the problem? Why do you have it? How are you going to solve it? I may have to repeat the conversation a few times or keep coming back to it or I may even forget it. However if the conversation comes up more than three times I usually start to take it seriously and either take action or file it for later, which may involve stewing on it. Where I see it becoming something that triggers negative feelings then I have to face down that demon in my quest to be happy ….

 

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